Suk San Wan Keut!

In my sixteen years of existence, I had never been separated this far from you. My heart can no longer encapsulate my yearning for someone at a distance. This may strike you a little weird but I miss you. I really do.

This twilight, while our parents are snoozing their trail towards slumberland and there’s no one for me to bother for I cannot doze off, I miss you. I miss you because you know my stories and most especially, you know me. I know I fail to tell you how much I appreciate your efforts … but words aren’t just enough to measure up with the myriad high roads you traversed for one and all.

I miss the dvd marathons we’d had due to boresome afternoons in the harbor. I miss our karaoke moments when we would sing our hearts out notwithstanding the unreachable notes of Josh Groban and Mariah Carey. I miss the summer before my freshmen year when you handed me a piece of paper engrossing the things I should say in front of the crowd. Yep. That was how much you wanted me to experience a perfect high school life. Your encouragements I miss…I wouldn’t had the guts to take the risks I dared if it weren’t for you. You had always been someone whom I can draw strength from.

You’re the kind of person any family would be proud of. . .

I am proud of how you journeyed with flying colors.
I am proud of you for winning the SCC presidency election.
I am proud of you for being an exchange-student in ADMU.
I am proud of you for earning the Business Plan Competition Award.
I am proud of you for being a part of the Ayala Leadership Congress.
I am proud of you for receiving an Achievement Award on your graduation day.
I am proud of you for grabbing the Johnson & Johnson job offer.

(and having the courage to quit it)
More than ever, I am proud to have you as my brother…

I just don’t see you as Gian, my kuya - but Gian, someone to be looked up to. I see you as someone I could never be.

Yeah. Yeah. Angeli is in senti-mode.

Well, your clueless mind doesn’t possess the fact of how much I anticipate your homecoming. For the whole lot of your 22 years in this world, I hope you’re not just a year older, but a year better.

Happy Birthday, Kuya Gian.

Araw Mo - Nina Music Code



Beneath the armor.

Have you ever felt lost and baffled in this maze called life?

I did.

Several times have I battled my heart out just to free myself from this endless prison.

I triumphed.

I failed.

Either way I am always faced by choices unforeseen when I first stepped into the labyrinth. Deciding which one to choose was never easy. It may lead you to victory, failure, or into another maze.

Is there a way out?

I’ve been reflecting for quite some time, trying to figure out how I made it through in some of my expeditions. My greatest discovery is yet to unveil .

In order to find my way out, I first have to find myself.

Then one day, I ventured the world to search for my truth. Only to realize in the end that it has always been at my doorstep waiting to be awakened. My truth never left me in the first place. I was the one who left, who got lost, and who have forgotten.

My quest is not yet over, though. A white flag hasn’t been raised in the battlefield and I will not be the one to do it. I won’t desert this combat for it is worth fighting for to the end.

But I was defeated. The destiny had forsaken the warrior.

You see, there‘s a time when a warrior must soldier on with the fight, and a time to accept that fate abandoned her. No one can hold back the river and only a fool would sail back to the crusade.

The truth is, I had always been a fool.

And there comes a point when a brave warrior will swallow her pride and own up for her inadequacy. 

The truth is, I was never a brave warrior.

The warrior got lost but it has found its truth embedded within.

The warrior got hurt but it endured the pain triggered by destiny.

And beneath the armor is I, the warrior.

If I could change the world.

The following is written on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop in Westminster Abby (1100 A.D). If you dream of making a difference in the world, you must read it.

When i was young and free and my

imagination had no limits, i dreamed of

changing the world;

As i grew older and wiser i realized the

world would not change.

And i decided to shorten my sights

somewhat and change only my country.

But it too seemed immovable.

As i entered my twilight years, in one last

desperate attempt, i sought to change

only my family, those closest to me, but

alas they would have none of it.

And now here i lie on my death bed and

realize (perhaps for the first time) that if

only i'd change myself first, then by

example i may have influenced

my family and with their encouragement

and support i may have bettered my

country, and who knows i may have

changed the world.

So you wanna be famous?

Out of six billion people, only a quarter would probably say no. Well, we do live in a world full of wannabes. Kids nowadays dream of becoming the next Britney Spears. So what happened to the “I-want-to-be-a-firewoman-when-I-grow-up” cliché? Hmm…I doubt if it’s still a cliché. Suddenly, our t.v screens are filled with celebrity homes, celebrity styles. And people would rather read gossip magazines than newspapers. Never-ending billboards of glamour shots surround the city streets. Ordinary people would dare do the impossible to be popular. Don’t they get it? If everyone is popular, there wouldn’t be popular people anymore.

I fervently believe that all of us will be given a chance to have our own spotlight some time in our lives. It may not be as bright as Paris Hilton’s but it’ll be our OWN. Others may not notice it but in the eyes of our loved ones ...we shine brighter than the stars.