Blindfolded

Taking a step forward is something most people fear of.
It's like jumping off a cliff with your eyes closed but with your heart wide open,
you'll never know what lies ahead..until you get there.

I was once standing on a cliff.
Seeing the great distance from up high, I got frightened
Scared of getting bruised.
Scared of the damage that it can forever engrave in my life.

People must be foolish for jumping off that cliff, I thought.
Don't they know that they could be making the greatest mistake of their lives?
Actually, they do.
They just choose to close their eyes on that truth because for them, it's better to feel the pain and agony than forever wonder what could've happened.

So here I am, wondering.
Just a few distance from the cliff, all I truly need is a little push from behind.
But sometimes, it's not really the push we need.
It's the assurance that someone out there is willing to catch our fall.

Did I found mine?  I'd like to think so.
I saw him and suddenly I got the adrenaline that I didn't know I'd been seeking.
It's funny how a person can make you see what you've been overlooking.
Your mind is blinded by terrifying possibilities that could happen..
that you forget how great it is to feel the wind blowing through your hair while diving.

But that's not really what's exciting -- it's what awaits you down there.
And so my heart has been blocked for a while and my eyes shut.
I opened it and there he was -- waiting.
I'm taking off the blindfold now.
And with an unlocked heart, yes, I'm ready to fall.

My heart speaks.

People come and go.
I, of all people, should know that.
Yet no matter how disheartened I am when people leave, I remain still.
Waiting and hoping for their return even if they never do.
With that, I have come to realize that when someone leaves, let them be..
for someone else is bound to arrive.

And then a bastard came.
A fool for love, I'd call him.
I've known him before but God! I never thought..
Never thought he'd flicker a light in my once dark lit universe,
Never thought he'd start an endless warp in my once straight life,
Never thought he'd make my once silenced heart sing again.

You know that feeling? When one day you look at a person and you see something more than you did the day before.
He was just a stranger. A schoolmate. A friend.
Then suddenly he's the only person who can ever imagine yourself with.

Yet no matter how much I wanted to take a step forward,
my fears would always pull me back.
And my biggest fear? That fear of being left behind once more,
which i know he will someday.

How can I endure that when all my life I've desired of a happy ever after?
So stop asking. Stop wondering. Stop thinking.
Coz the truth is -- I do. I want to. But I just can't.
Yet somehow, the fool made me say yes when I wanted to say no. 
I guess that makes me a fool too.

He's everything I'm not.
And no matter how visible that fact is, he still lingers.
No matter how many times I tell him to pick another choice, he still chooses me.
No matter how much I push him away coz we just can't be right now, he still stays.
What a bastard. What a fool.

Yes, he is a bastard.
He's maddening and he's stubborn and just plain bastard.
But he is a bastard who knows what he want and stick to his own guns to grasp what he yearns for.
He is an epitome that if you want something bad enough,
and if you're determined enough,
eventually, it can and will happen.

And that gives me so much hope.
That's what keeps me holding on to what I'm uncertain.
That's what makes me happy and silly and scared all at the same time.
But like I said, I wouldn't want it any other way.
Coz people may come and go, but his heart is off nowhere but here..with mine.